Don't Sigh So Loud

OR WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A MOTHER OF YOUNG CHILDREN

I have a pet peeve. It starts when people sigh a deep sigh and either think to themselves or say out loud, “Isn’t there anything else in your life besides your kids???”

---long pause to choose my words carefully---

If by anything else, do you mean that free time that is not at night because
I am busy getting up to quiet a fussy baby at 10pm
or comfort two toddlers from waking up scared at midnight
or being wakened by my son crawling into my bed after a bad dream at 1am
or helping two toddlers use the potty at 3am
or getting up with the now rested baby at 6am,

and which doesn’t happen during the day because there are…
meals to fix
and diapers to change
and kids to dress and undress and dress again
and imaginations to foster
and little self-esteems to reinforce
and chub to kiss,

and which doesn’t happen at naptime because…
there is much convincing to be done of the need for sleep
and dishes to do
and laundry to be done
and vacuuming and folding,

and which isn't at dinner time or during bathtime or story time or bedtime, and now we are back to nighttime.

Remind me again. At which point during my life with four babies is there supposed to be some luxurious thing called free time? And at what point do my children take a back seat to this other “independent and empowering” life I’m supposed to have where I “discover myself” and have "me time"? The answer is simple. They don’t.

I’ll continue to write about my life, which means writing about my children. And someday in a few years, there will be more free time and as a result, a greater variety of subject matter. But for today, I'm not less of a person for being an all-consumed mother. I'm better for it. No really.

And to those who sigh those deep sighs of boredom, my thought is, “In order for you to have survived your first years, someone somewhere was all-consumed with you.” And at some point in life, most people are called on to care for someone else, either child or employee or student or ailing parent. Most people come to a place in life where they are required to put their needs on hold in order to meet the needs of another. I think God does it on purpose. I think he likes to build our character.

And I, my friend, am up to my chin in character building.