My Beginner Bookcase

OR THE TWO DAY PROJECT THAT TOOK TWO MONTHS

It's finally done! I started this project months ago with much excitement thinking it would only take a couple days. But then summer came with it's scorching heat and humidity and I wasn't willing to haul the table saw into the living room or sweat it out in the garage... so months passed.

If you decide to try this project yourself, you can reasonably expect to finish it in one day plus drying time for whatever finish you choose (stain, paint, etc.). This is a perfect project for beginners like me... it's very forgiving. There's wiggle room for mistakes.

Here's how it started. I saw this in the store and loved it.



But the fabric was awful and it was $50 (with four kids, that might as well be a $1 million). I also saw a cheaper version without the storage, but oh dear, it was hideous. Very ugly. So I thought, I bet I can make this. I ended up needing some help along the way (thanks Dad!). I couldn't get over my fear of the table saw to go it alone, so he jumped in to help make some cuts.

Pretty soon, I had this...



... and then I realized, wait a minute, this is for my children so it probably shouldn't be 6 feet tall. I had to disassemble, cut it down, and then I was on my way.



I used stain on this for one reason only - I'd never used it before. So, walnut finish stain from Minwax it was. And then I finished it with, you guessed it, polyurethane - satin finish this time (I'm still in love with the stuff).



Then I picked some fabric (still not my favorite fabric, but I live in a tiny little town that had VERY limited choices and I thought this was fun), sewed it together (yay for sewing!) and the final result...



I'm so glad it's done, but now I've got 10 more projects in mind. You know what they say... a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Wishing you that wonderful sense of accomplishment.

I Did It!

OR HOW I PLAN ON SPENDING MY FREE TIME FROM NOW TO ETERNITY

Well folks, I did it. I bit the bullet and bought this...



My "sewing table" is an extra desk that I almost sold. Thank goodness it's still around because it's perfect. And once I had a new sewing machine, I needed some sewing supplies, so this little cutie came home with me too.



I'm not new to sewing, so I've already got 100 projects in mind (and I want to do them all right now of course).

First on the list is a sewing project I need to do ASAP in order to finish an ongoing woodworking project that's been dragging on for months and is nearly done. Nope, I'm not telling what it is. Yes, I'm teasing you mercilessly. But check back for pictures soon because I plan to finish it in the next few days, maybe even today!

Wishing you fresh inspiration!

My Weekend Project

I did something I love this weekend. I found an old, yucky piece of furniture and gave it a facelift. I started with this old desk that I found for $20.



I thought it had "good bones" (I'm a sucker for turned legs - I love that) and although being blatantly lied to that it was all wood but was actually veneers, I decided to go ahead anyway. Could have been a big mistake but I was willing to risk it.

I started with a little of this...



It's for my son's room, thus the fire engine red. Just about done...



Then I used a spray-on final clear coat and RUINED IT!!! I had to re-sand and paint (did you know you could sand veneers???) After getting back to a decent color, I decided to go the old fashioned route and use polyurethane in a can with a foam brush applicator.



It was my first time using polyurethane and I loved it. I'm totally hooked. It made me want to run around slapping poly on everything I could see. I'm convinced it's in the category of duck tape... able to fix anything. It could probably even substitute for plastic surgery. But I digress.

Here's the finished project...



What do you think?

Wishing you the magic of polyurethane in your world.

Don't Sigh So Loud

OR WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A MOTHER OF YOUNG CHILDREN

I have a pet peeve. It starts when people sigh a deep sigh and either think to themselves or say out loud, “Isn’t there anything else in your life besides your kids???”

---long pause to choose my words carefully---

If by anything else, do you mean that free time that is not at night because
I am busy getting up to quiet a fussy baby at 10pm
or comfort two toddlers from waking up scared at midnight
or being wakened by my son crawling into my bed after a bad dream at 1am
or helping two toddlers use the potty at 3am
or getting up with the now rested baby at 6am,

and which doesn’t happen during the day because there are…
meals to fix
and diapers to change
and kids to dress and undress and dress again
and imaginations to foster
and little self-esteems to reinforce
and chub to kiss,

and which doesn’t happen at naptime because…
there is much convincing to be done of the need for sleep
and dishes to do
and laundry to be done
and vacuuming and folding,

and which isn't at dinner time or during bathtime or story time or bedtime, and now we are back to nighttime.

Remind me again. At which point during my life with four babies is there supposed to be some luxurious thing called free time? And at what point do my children take a back seat to this other “independent and empowering” life I’m supposed to have where I “discover myself” and have "me time"? The answer is simple. They don’t.

I’ll continue to write about my life, which means writing about my children. And someday in a few years, there will be more free time and as a result, a greater variety of subject matter. But for today, I'm not less of a person for being an all-consumed mother. I'm better for it. No really.

And to those who sigh those deep sighs of boredom, my thought is, “In order for you to have survived your first years, someone somewhere was all-consumed with you.” And at some point in life, most people are called on to care for someone else, either child or employee or student or ailing parent. Most people come to a place in life where they are required to put their needs on hold in order to meet the needs of another. I think God does it on purpose. I think he likes to build our character.

And I, my friend, am up to my chin in character building.

First Day of School!!!

Today was my son's very first day of school... he's in kindergarten!

He was SUPER excited when we walked into the school.



And very excited when he got to his classroom...



And only slightly terrified when it was time for Mommy to say goodbye. :)

Why I Dread Walmart

OR "LOOK! MOMMY CAN BREATH FIRE!"

This weekend was typical. Let me give ya the run down of a typical Saturday...

First, we have a “special” breakfast. Special for the kids because it’s full of sugar. Special for me because I don’t have to argue with anyone to eat it.

Then it’s off to Walmart. The kids are in tow, so I mentally make a note of the 5 things I must have and remind myself again that anything else is totally optional depending on how long I can last without becoming that screaming, red-faced, fire-breathing, “Come Here Right Now!!!!” mom. I have my pre-shopping pep talk with the kids where we review the three rules that haven’t changed in the last six years:

1. No Touchy Touchy
2. No Running
3. Stay Close to Mommy

Each child dutifully repeats these to me and I am lulled into a false sense of peace by their big eyes and reassuring smiles. Enough false peace to get out of the van and go in. Then I tell them, “OK guys, we need milk. Who can show me where the milk is?” Before I even finish my question, the kids are touching, running, and nowhere near me.

I begin chasing them down and grab items as I pass them in my pursuit. If you’ve ever seen old episodes of the game show where shoppers get a 1-minute shopping spree in the grocery store then you’ve got the idea of what this looks like. I kiss the baby’s head every two seconds to make sure she’s still in the basket and to thank her for not being old enough yet to add to the madness. I touch the back wall of the store wondering if I’m shopping or running suicides. Running suicides I decide.

My oldest is in competition with the other two to see who can do the most cartwheels down the aisle and takes out a full display of soup cans and an old lady in his effort. Humiliated, I apologize, but have to keep moving to catch him, which is lucky because these old southern ladies have some fight in them.

Someone pats my hand and says to me for the ninth time this morning, "You sure do have your hands full. Bless your heart." Which, translated in southern, means get your children out of here... now!

I herd my offspring to the checkout counter and then silently begin to pray that the person in front of me will go faster. Not for my sake. For theirs. They have no idea what 8 curious little hands will do to their groceries. I wonder if the mom in front of me has gum in her purse, because if she does, my daughter who shall remain nameless, will pick pocket that junk in 2 seconds flat.

Finally, I face the cashier who glances at my shirt, which somehow has multiple stains on it although it was clean two hours ago, sees my red, fire-breathing face, and silently sums me up in her mind. She tries to move quickly and I try to reassure her (as the children totally dismantle the strategically placed, child-height display right next to the cash register), but we both know she wants me out of there as badly as I want to be gone. Finally, we make it to the safety of our van again.

This stands in bold contrast to some of the fun times I've had this summer, but I know someday I'll look back on these "typical" weekends and laugh. And the moment the kids get old enough to walk through the store calmly, I'll be blogging about how sweet their baby days were.

Wishing you the magic of enjoying the moment.

Bits of My Weekend - Vol. V

Weekends can be five days long right? Did you say “no”? I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that and talk about the last five days as though they were all a weekend anyway. It all started here...



... at the Charlotte airport. Apparently, I did something right in a past life because I got the best present. There’s a person out there who, without being glib or sarcastic, I can honestly say is one of the most amazing, inspiring, encouraging , and stinkin’ hilarious people I’ve ever met and has remained consistently so through more years than I want to count… Evita. (We are not even going to discuss how she is also gorgeous even after having two kids, because it should be illegal. Not everyone can pull that off. I know I can’t. She can. Whateva. I’ll forgive her for it.) She left her kids at home and came to visit for a couple days of freedom and fun. And it was.

Evita, you should know, is an a-ma-zing cook. If you are ever invited to her home… go. Run, in fact. She made dinner one night that involved chicken curry and basmati rice and homemade chutney. (Excuse me, I started drooling just typing it). I would love to show a picture of it but, as fast as I am, this is all I could get…



We got pampered and ate delicious food and hung out in not one, but three cities in three different states. Aiken in SC, Augusta in GA, and Charlotte in NC. It was hard work but somebody had to do it. My favorite was Amelie's in Charlotte and this place in Augusta...



To see lots of pictures, visit her blog.

We also went to see SALT with Angelina Jolie. Let me say that, years ago, when Alias was on TV, I was a HUGE fan. While the less-than-mind-bending plot may not inspire awe, this movie filled the Alias-sized hole in me. And fueled my workouts for at least a week. (I want to jump up on a wall before laying the smack down like that. Oh yeah. )

In the end, I have to say what everybody always says. I don't do that enough. And I need to do it again. Life should always be that fun. Can I get an amen?

Bits of My Weekend - Vol. IV

Summer is slowly passing. Someone said, “Can you believe half of July is already gone?” I say, “God’s mercy is great.” Growing up in the land of perpetual summer (Phoenix) taught me one thing… just hide in the pool until it’s over. My family likes that idea too so that’s what we do. And all we did this weekend. And when the cold water in the pool suddenly feels luke warm, we add popsicles… without getting out of the pool. It looks like this…



May your freezer always be full in July.

And to find people who may actually be doing something exciting in July, check out other Bits of My Weekends.

Toddlers

OR THE CHUB EFFECT

Toddlers have chub e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. They have chubby tummies, chubby legs, chubby hands, and chubby cheeks on both ends. And they use this chub in the same way criminals use deadly weapons – to get anything they want. If used correctly, the toddler chub effect can make grown men cry. Toddlers would rather plaster the walls with their food than eat it. They’d rather flush anything down the toilet than actually use it (especially cell phones). And they’d rather be naked all the time – the better to use their chub. Toddlers hate car seats. Toddlers like to run and scream… at home, in the store, in the car and get very angry when said running is impeded by said car seat. Toddlers have big eyes that watch everything you do. They will ignore the thing you are teaching them by endless repetition and immediately repeat the cuss word you say once. Toddlers do everything with all their heart which is why it is utterly impossible to give them anything less than all of yours.

Three Year Olds

OR THE TASMANIAN DEVIL WITH A HALO

Three year olds can’t say their “s”s. Three year olds have split personalities. One moment, they are an angel from God, sent down to smile that sweet smile and bring you joy. The next they are tearing your kitchen apart and throwing tantrums. Three year olds have no concept of danger. They frequently lean too far over the railing and reach for open flames leaving you to breathlessly save their life multiple times daily. Three year olds get tired every afternoon but fight naps in the same way a cat fights being put into the bathtub. Three year olds will embarrass you at every important moment. They will always repeat your cheeky comments to your mother-in-law and call your neighbor fat. They will be potty trained one day and pee in the bed the next because it’s what they do. Three year olds still have chubby fingers but have lost those chubby baby cheeks. Three year olds need to do everything themselves even though they can’t and when they bump up against their own limitations, or yours should you be so brave… meltdown. And at the end of the day, you will find that you have switched roles. While for the first two years, they were completely dependent on you, they now think that they do not need you at all, but you, on the other hand, are completely unable to live without them.

Five Year Olds

OR THOSE BRILLIANT LITTLE WHIRLING DERVISHES

Five year olds have ears that are too big for their faces. They will ask if you’ve seen a certain movie, and even if you say yes, proceed to tell you all about that movie you’ve already seen from beginning to end. Five year olds pee on the toilet seat. Five year olds don’t know how to shut doors, turn off lights, stop running water, pick up clothes, or take their shoes off. These little tornados can undo a weekend of cleaning in 10 seconds flat. I’ve seen mine go from one end of the house to the other, unintentionally leaving a trail of destruction behind in one swift rampage. Five year olds think they are smart. Smarter than their little brothers and sisters. Smarter than their teacher. And most annoying… smarter than you. And sometimes they are, which just bites me in the butt. Five year olds look at the world with starry-eyed wonder convinced they can conquer it if they just have the right superhero cape on. Five year olds are too old to kiss you in front of their friends but still hold your hand and want to be sung to at night. Five year olds are five years too old for holding and rocking, five years too young for serious talks, but just right for thumb wars. Five year olds will steal your heart and hold it hostage for life. I know mine has.

The Kids Very First Movie EVER!

---I had some technical difficulties and had to remove the pictures that were on this post. Sorry folks.---

This week, the oldest three went to see Toy Story 3... in a movie theatre... their first time in a movie theatre ever! I think I was more excited than they were to take them. My excitement lasted all the way to the concession stand where they told me that one medium popcorn and one medium drink would be $13. I managed to swallow and blink repeatedly until I was sure I wasn't going to pass out. After I was done signing over the deed to my home, we ventured on.

The kids were enthralled by the life-size Alvin, Simon and Theodore chipmunks in the hallway. I had to repeatedly remind them what movie we were there to see. Apparently, Emma got the message because when we sat down and the previews began, every time a new preview started she SHOUTED, "That's not Woody! Where's Woody?!!". Then Olivia said, in a very loud voice, during the first two minutes, "Mommy, when is this movie over?". Perhaps it was her seat. I had not considered that there should be a weight requirement. Here's what my daughters looked like in their seats...

After we were all settled in and early wiggles settled down, it was a success! I had some happy movie goers.

FYI: Toy Story 3 was great! A few suspenseful moments, but overall, great for kids.

Bits of My Weekend - Vol. III

FOURTH OF JULY!!

It will come as no surprise that this weekend we celebrated July 4th. I had family come in town to celebrate with us and the whole family thoroughly enjoyed themselves for not one, but two days of fireworks and food.

We put together a great barbecue with lots of patriotic spirit.

My kids favorite thing was the star-shaped ice.

It was the very first time for the kids and for me to set off fireworks. I grew up in Phoenix where they are illegal. But apparently the south feels just fine about small, random fires. No fear. So, I tried to suck up my sheer terror about setting off explosive in my own yard, but apparently I wasn't alone. You can see how the kids felt...

They thought Grandpa had lost his mind when he started doing fireworks. They looked at him and looked at me and back at him, but by the end of the night they couldn't get enough. After setting them off ourselves, the kids thought the actual show the next night was a let down but still got into the spirit of it.

Can't wait for next year!

For more Bits of My Weekend, check out Michelle's blog.

July 4th Ideas

July 4th is this weekend! I love this holiday and plan on celebrating it to the full this year. I've been looking for ideas to make our family get together great and came across so many really good ones, I decided I need to share. Please note that I am entirely skipping any main course meal ideas because, well frankly, I'm not a good cook and am leaving that portion to those in my family who do it better than I do and because it would make this post longer than my attention span. So here we go...

PINWHEELS

This is a classic idea from Good Housekeeping Magazine and I put it up mostly because the picture is so pretty. For specific instructions, click on the "pinwheels" label. (No, I am not being paid to promote any of these ideas. I am crediting the sources because I am afraid I will get in trouble if I don't. But if they decide they don't want to sue me and do indeed want to pay me instead, I will gladly accept. Four kids people.)

FOURTH OF JULY DECORATION

This idea is from http://www.familyfun.go.com/. For all craft ideas, I have a need to keep it very, very simple. Partly because my kids are very young and need it simple and partly because I have no patience for the 20 steps it takes to create something I will throw away the next day. So this craft rocks! Very simple.

RED STRAWBERRY TEA

This is two ideas in one. I love the red tea idea and the recipe sounds yummy. I also love the blueberry skewers you can put in many drinks. Thank you again Good Housekeeping.

BERRY SPLASH

Here's a nod to the kids. My kids love tea, but we are in the south. Other kids may not, so for them, here's another great idea (ironically, from Southern Living. I guess there is a southern out there somewhere that doesn't drink tea).


STRAW FLAGS

This is one of my favorite ideas. So simple and much better than a sharpie on a plastic glass, although I'm not knocking it. (Southern Living)


STAR ICE CUBES

These are at Walmart for $1. Did you catch that? One. Dollar.

PATRIOTIC CAKE

Here's a fun idea that is so common I can't credit anyone with it. It's just a lovely idea and something the kids can help with.

PATRIOTIC STILTS

This is the idea that keeps on giving. First, the kids are occupied making it. Then, they are occupied playing with it. Rock on.


FACE PAINTING

You CAN NOT forget to whip out some face paints and and look silly for a few hours. Now, if you are an adult at an all-adult work-related party, I may eat these words. But for the vast majority sitting on blankets in parks and backyards everywhere, it's a winner.

PICNIC BLANKET

Any lastly, when it's time for the fireworks, take this one with you. This is not as much a great idea as it is a great bargain. Walmart is selling these blankets in any size with a matching tote for $19.

Hope you enjoy your celebration!

Bits of My Weekend - Vol. II

This weekend had some great moments. We started with a tradition – movie night. All the kids ran to get their blankets and pillows and favorite stuffed animals (it’s important for the scary parts) and cuddled on top of the “movie night blanket” - an overstuffed, super soft comforter laid out on the floor. Julia especially loves this. She couldn’t care less about TV yet, but rolling around like a dog on the comforter… it’s her happy place.

We watched this classic.



Next up, we celebrated Grandpa’s birthday this weekend. We decorated...





and bought an ice cream cake (which despite the awful writing and ill-advised choice of icing color was de-li-cious)…


and surprised him. He’s a low-key guy who didn’t expect us to decorate and buy a cake and surprise him. So it was that much more fun to do it. He loved his homemade presents and was still smiling even after the sticky-kid hugs. Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

To top off the weekend, I bought the kids a pool. I seriously underestimated what was required to get this thing up and running. Armed with my hand pump, I started pumping away. I pumped…



And pumped…



And pumped…



And pumped…



And finished the following afternoon. I now have biceps like Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was boiling hot and after pumping for seemingly days on end, it didn’t matter that my kids had given up on me and left. There was only one thing to do. But first, I should explain that my youngest is now 19 months old and I am a little late in recovering my pre-baby figure. >>> laughing so hard I almost dropped my laptop <<<. That would be an understatement. But my modesty had melted hours ago and I didn't care anymore. Neither did I care that both my neighbors were in their backyards in full view. I took my full-figured self out into the backyard and got my swim on kiddie-pool style. By myself. One thing about going through some tough times in life is you learn what matters and what doesn’t. And on that hellishly-hot afternoon, my neighbor stopped, looked, and froze with his mouth open. Important? Nope. Funny? Oh yeah. I had a good laugh. I was rewarded with water that could have been pumped in from the polar ice cap. It was blissful. I’m still smiling.



Here’s to laughing at yourself.

Soon to come... 4th of July ideas.

And for other “Bits of My Weekend” blog posts, check out Six In The City.

Bits of My Weekend

Hello to all you "Bits of My Weekend" bloggers. I've been following this for a couple weeks and finally decided to jump in.

Because I am constantly chasing around four little ones (quite literally chasing most of the time), cooking at my house is an evil necessity. Evil because it takes time. Evil because it doesn't magically appear on demand. Evil because it provides an opportunity for my house to be taken apart piece by piece while I am otherwise distracted in the kitchen.

HOWEVER, this weekend was different. My sister, her husband, and my nephews came in town and it was all the excuse this sandwhiched-out mom needed to make some real food. And boy did we. We started as any good cook does... with someone else making the food. Macaroni Grill for an early lunch (oh Pollo Caprese, you have secured your place in my heart forever). Then we grilled out both nights. Apparently, we couldn't get enough of the word "grill".

I decided to try a new recipe for dessert. I thought I was making a tart, but was fooled completely. On the cover of this month's Southern Living magazine is this mouth watering wonder...

Tart? Oh contrare. It's a shortcake cooked in a tart pan. Seriously, I just would have bought it in the store if I'd known. But it turned out to be worth it in the end. Here's how it turned out...




Yummy. Here's a link to the recipe:

Southern Living's Strawberry-Orange Shortcake Tart

Here's to family and long summers! And to check out other Bits of My Weekend bloggers, go to this blog.

The Complete Destruction of My Mind

OR WHY I NOW SPEAK A ONE-SYLLABLE LANGUAGE

I vaguely remember taking my college finals. The clearest detail about it now was my ability to remember an ENORMOUS amount of information and actually be able to recall that information on demand. Today if you asked me to recall any little piece of information at all on demand, I might pee my pants. I no longer have any memory whatsoever. I trace the destruction of my mind to that first year as a mom. Some doctors say it’s the pregnancy hormones. But I know for sure that directly after giving birth, I could still remember my last name.

What happened then? I can only peg it on sleep deprivation. Long-term, mind-numbing sleep deprivation. I’m convinced that’s the culprit. It forced me to use every last bit of physical effort and concentration to focus on four things - food, poop, sleep (for the baby, not for me)and temperature. Is she hungry? Did he poop? How long did she sleep? Is he hot/cold? I became a constant record keeper of the little bundle’s most basic functions. Then with the girls I had to add a fifth… where’s her brother (as in, what’s he doing to make her cry)? God must have known I needed to be able to count these things on my fingers, because I swear I’m not lying when I say I would hold my last finger and trrrrryyyyyyy to remember the one on the list I was forgetting, even though the list was repeated endlessly every day.

Over time, my mind turned to mush. Advanced economic theory studied nightly for hours… poof! Favorite Tennyson poem… replaced with the instructions for making formula. Names of former co-workers… not a chance in… ahem, not a chance. (So if I used to work with you, please do not put me in a position to have to remember your name. I can’t do it to save my life.)

This is also why I think most moms end up counting their child’s age in months. Because for most of the first year, you can still count on your fingers so you’re good to go. After that you lose track and who can remember if it’s been a year yet or not? I couldn’t even remember what year it was period.

I think this is also why we speak the la la language, you know, the one-syllable language you heard spoken in grocery stores before you were a mom and swore you would never degenerate to. But degenerate we have. You can outline your entire day in syllables now…

Peek-a-boo, poo poo, boo boo, kiss kiss, stop it!, come, go, sit, eat, sleep, ni night, luv u.

Oh yes, and… Come here or else – one, two, thr-thank u.

Our Little Spot of Heaven

OR MY BACKYARD

We spent the morning in our backyard. It’s a magical place. I would post pictures but a picture can’t tell you how the breeze mixed with the dew and the azaleas to create a perfume that floated around us. And a picture wouldn’t be able to show how the sun made the leaves sparkle and dance making the ground look like green jewels instead of grass. Right in the center of the yard is a swing set cushioned with pine straw from the five tall pines trees that circle it. The yard begins at our house and ends at the edge of a large forest, but since the fence is only a half-height chain link, it’s easy to think it goes on forever and we are in a clearing. Our back gate leads into a tangle of trails and ponds. Deer sometimes let curiousity pull them out of the forest and give us a quick look. Squirrels, cardinals, blue birds, butterflies, bees, ladybugs, one woodpecker, and a hawk think it’s their home too. There are vegetables in the garden and hydrangeas blooming near the deck.



Also on the deck is Little Crock, our gecko lizard whom I am convinced transplanted here with my parents from the desert. The see-through fence leaves Gracie free to play with our dog-friends next door, Tanzy and Brooks. The dogs call to each other and play and run just like the children do. When the wind blows, you can hear it in the trees and our voices echo like I’ve only heard before while camping in the wilderness.

It’s where Julia first went down a slide, where Olivia learned to swing, where Emma talks to the animals, where William practices casting with his fishing pole, and where they all chase fireflies. It’s where Grandpa grills, Nana reads, and I close my eyes and breathe.

I’m positive unseen angels blow us kisses there ;)

What I Wish I Had

OR HOW TO TORTURE YOURSELF ENDLESSLY

You know all those extremely dramatic TV shows that we all love so much?

These people come to crisis points again and again. You know what they have that I don’t? Not beauty. I’m not ugly looking if you can get underneath all the “life” sitting on top of me right now, or at least I used to be kind of pretty (said every mother ever). Not friends. I have great friends. Not a writer who plans out their life. I think God’s got me. You know what I totally envy about these fake characters? The ability to make a decision and walk away with that last glare, turn a corner, leave the building and never question themselves on it EVER AGAIN. And, just as wonderful, no one else ever questions them about it either EVER AGAIN. Bliss.

Instead, I’m stuck in the real world where I have to chose between rocks and hard places, then explain my decisions in detail one hundred times over and then fall asleep questioning myself again and again and when I’m done with that, I start round two… questioning myself on how my children will feel about it when they’re grown up. Pure torture.

I hear there are happy pills that can help.

New Life, New Start

I’m on a journey. You are too, I know. But mine just took a craaaaazy turn and landed me face down, spitting dirt. Surprisingly though, the view from here isn’t bad, since looking up is rather mandatory at this point. I have a new life now, not one I asked for, but I’m happy in it and for this new part I’m looking ahead and blogging about it.

One thing you should know, I’m an optimist. (Hush now, all you old friends. I hear your snorts and “uh huh whatevers”.) No really. It’s surprising even to me to discover this about myself, because it is part of the core of who I am to stare straight into the face of truth, no matter how painful, and acknowledge it. But after I’m done staring truth in the face, I have to conclude that no matter what, change is always possible. I think that’s called hope. And I think having hope is called being an optimist. So, I’m an optimist, a determined one. I actually believe that as bad as life can be, it can also be just as wonderful. And that’s really the root of it. I’m addicted to life. I’m addicted to finding beauty in surprising places. And I can’t stop myself from looking for it like a kid trying to find bugs under leaves.

So this is where I'm going to leave some thoughts, talk profusely about my kids in ways I'm sure they will not appreciate when they're older, and where I hope to capture some of life's better moments, like fireflies in a jar.