OR WHY I NOW SPEAK A ONE-SYLLABLE LANGUAGE
I vaguely remember taking my college finals. The clearest detail about it now was my ability to remember an ENORMOUS amount of information and actually be able to recall that information on demand. Today if you asked me to recall any little piece of information at all on demand, I might pee my pants. I no longer have any memory whatsoever. I trace the destruction of my mind to that first year as a mom. Some doctors say it’s the pregnancy hormones. But I know for sure that directly after giving birth, I could still remember my last name.
What happened then? I can only peg it on sleep deprivation. Long-term, mind-numbing sleep deprivation. I’m convinced that’s the culprit. It forced me to use every last bit of physical effort and concentration to focus on four things - food, poop, sleep (for the baby, not for me)and temperature. Is she hungry? Did he poop? How long did she sleep? Is he hot/cold? I became a constant record keeper of the little bundle’s most basic functions. Then with the girls I had to add a fifth… where’s her brother (as in, what’s he doing to make her cry)? God must have known I needed to be able to count these things on my fingers, because I swear I’m not lying when I say I would hold my last finger and trrrrryyyyyyy to remember the one on the list I was forgetting, even though the list was repeated endlessly every day.
Over time, my mind turned to mush. Advanced economic theory studied nightly for hours… poof! Favorite Tennyson poem… replaced with the instructions for making formula. Names of former co-workers… not a chance in… ahem, not a chance. (So if I used to work with you, please do not put me in a position to have to remember your name. I can’t do it to save my life.)
This is also why I think most moms end up counting their child’s age in months. Because for most of the first year, you can still count on your fingers so you’re good to go. After that you lose track and who can remember if it’s been a year yet or not? I couldn’t even remember what year it was period.
I think this is also why we speak the la la language, you know, the one-syllable language you heard spoken in grocery stores before you were a mom and swore you would never degenerate to. But degenerate we have. You can outline your entire day in syllables now…
Peek-a-boo, poo poo, boo boo, kiss kiss, stop it!, come, go, sit, eat, sleep, ni night, luv u.
Oh yes, and… Come here or else – one, two, thr-thank u.
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perfect.
ReplyDeletewell said-- and not just for someone "in your condition" ;)
ReplyDeletei can most certainly relate to all you've said, and that's with only ONE child-- i cannot imagine what my brain will be if/when there are more.
since you brough up this topic: a dear friend of mine with a nearly 3 year old and a newborn is actually suffering from a form of post-partum exhaustion, that's brought on something akin to aphasia-- she's unable to form sentences verbally or in writing. it's been over a week now and she's not improving much even with her mother and sister living in to help her get some rest. she's experiencing extreme anxiety, which is not helping her get the rest she needs.
would you pray for her? her name is deborah too, actually-- shouldn't be too hard to remember :)
Loved this post!
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